I want someone who longs to know every part of me
what I love and what I don’t,
the dreams I carry and the wishes I hide.
What I’m afraid of, and what quietly hurts.
My favorite color,
my favorite season.
The secrets resting at the bottom of my notes,
the one food I could live on forever.
The sounds that soothe me
and the scents I cannot stand.
What I miss, what I chase, what I still wait for.
My anger, my sadness, my restless thoughts.
The way I hold a pencil,
the way my fingers crack without thinking.
The little phrases I repeat, the clothes I choose.
How I scratch my head when I’m nervous,
how I cringe when people bite their nails.
The song that makes me dance wherever I am,
and the things that make me cry at 3 a.m.,
staring out the window.
I want someone who wants to know all of me
the light
and the shadow,
the flawless
and the broken.
I want someone who truly wants to know me.

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Wandering down the street, I ask myself
if these are truly the steps I’m meant to take.
Paths stretch long, they cross, they intertwine,
they stumble, they tangle, then slowly realign.
Destinies blend, and souls walk side by side,
and I wonder when the moment will come
for your footsteps to walk alongside mine.

The trees dance and sway to the gentle rhythm of the wind.
Do they whisper that I am following the right path?
Yet I fear I do not understand their words.
Perhaps they are nothing more than silent witnesses
to my uncertainties,
and secretly, it is I who gives the lyrics
to their soundless songs.

Maybe that is what this is about
and I’m discovering it in with every step I take.
For I am the one who writes
the prose of my journey and my wandering.
So I keep walking,
with faith as my compass
and the wind as my orchestra,
trusting that my steps will lead me
the right way.

I continue wandering down the street,
in search of my own path.
But something has changed,
or perhaps I am the one who has finally understood.
Now I walk with a new companion:
the certainty that every step
brings me a little closer to my destination.

-Love, Mandy.

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I wish my camera could capture the beautiful image my eyes are seeing at 1:32 in the morning. I wish I could share what I’m witnessing, but I am alone.
A night so dark, and at the same time so clear.
A harmonious silence, accompanied by my soft sobs and my wandering tears, and the occasional car passing in the distance.

Here I am, sitting, contemplating, full of sadness, such a beautiful night.
Is it this unique and beautiful only so that, in my melancholy, I may witness it? It feels as if it were made to comfort me, to bring me peace.

A perfect mountain range, imposing, almost drawn. So white as I have never seen it before, as white as the soft, scarce clouds that seem arranged with perfect intention tonight. They seem not to move. Unlike usual, they are frozen, especially for me, so that I may observe them, so that I may admire them in all their beauty, and perhaps, just perhaps, find a little inspiration in them, or the desire to sleep.

The stars are few, but bright. One in particular draws my attention and brings me comfort. It is right in front of me.
Jupiter? I think I once heard that the brightest star was Jupiter.

And that’s when I notice it. For a second, while writing my thoughts, I forgot my sadness. For a second, the cold of my window absorbed me completely in its beauty.

But it was only a moment, and the sadness returns when I realize the forgetting.
It reminds me of a trip. A trip with a sky as beautiful as the one tonight.
I don’t know why it fills me with anguish.

I want to cry again, but I can’t. Maybe it worked. My purpose was fulfilled. The tears hide in the presence of happiness, even if only momentary.

Slowly, I lower the curtain and return gently to my bed, which for some reason feels colder than sitting by the window.
I will keep the memory of this beautiful night, which will bring me calm.

I will close my eyes. Tomorrow will be a better day. Or so I hope.

If this resonated with you, feel free to stay, subscribe, or simply sit with it for a moment. That’s more than enough 🤍

-Love, Mandy

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